At our age kids are either a choice you made or one you didn’t. It may take several months to get in our first four dates, but… And then we’ve got all the negotiations about how and when we want to see each other. Fearless Commitment To Monogamy At first, divorce may seem like we’ve gotten the key to the kingdom of sex again. And if you want to go further, we’ve got to establish some mutual objectives.And nothing against the non-parents in the group, but I’m so wrapped up with my kids, that if you don’t have that same passion and joy, we’re probably going to have to look for things to have engaging conversations about. (Let’s not start with jumping in bed or looking at vacation calendars for a while. (If we’re about to sleep together I can assure you we’ve had this conversation.)8.I’m a single dad (coach) who can help you find authentic love: Let’s book 30-minute call and see if we’re a fit.I look forward to having another opportunity to learn about myself “in a relationship” at some point. But I believe by having my priorities clear and articulated I can do a better job of finding and sorting through the process of finding that NEXT RELATIONSHIP. UPDATE: Responding to a comment on another site about this post, I’d like to share a few more observations. Here are several points where I think we need more discussion.9. Yes, I selected these potential dates and knew their age, and also that they had not ever had children.It can blur your vision when trying to figure out if you want to hang with this person for the long run.2. (I’d like to keep getting fitter, but my joy is genuine.) In several previous online dates I found myself sitting across the table from very attractive, usually younger, women who had nearly nothing in common with me. The Spark Is Only a Start If the chemistry (tail wag) is ON, there are still a ton of steps along the path before we’re in a relationship. (If I’m a reader and you’re a reality tv junkie, we might not go the distance.) We need to synchronize our schedules over time. If we do decide to sleep together I want to know that we’ve just become mutually exclusive.I’m Looking for 100% Pure Connection Half my life is behind me. I could see myself eyeing their bodies and trying to imagine the sex, but I stopped myself, pretty quickly, even with the fantasizing. Today, I’m even getting pretty stingy with first dates. I want my next relationship to start out with the potential going the long distance. I’m Into Moms If my date doesn’t have kids, they probably don’t have much in common with me. I can be several different sizes of Boston Terrier, but if you’re into whippets and poodles, we’re probably never going to be a match. (Kids, work, and all the other stuff we’re just remembering we love to do) have to be the priority. That might be a stretch if you’re playing the field, or not sure about what you want. By the time we get past 1st-base, I’m letting you know that I am into you.I agree with many of the things you say are wrong between the relationships between men and women.I am not an apologist for the cultural norms that have stacked the deck against those of us who are trying to elevate the discussion about it all.
And perhaps our unfinished healing might keep us from starting the dating process again.My post shows some of my learnings as a result of these mistakes.It’s pretty telling for both men and women when their profile says they are 50 and they want to date partners who are 30 – 40. I’m pretty clear about wanting a woman who’s experienced a lot of the world.Passive aggressive might have worked in some other decade, but as adults, we should’ve gotten that silliness out-of-the-way. I will always try to answer honestly.” And the one relationship I’ve had since my divorce, went right for it. I have created a dog metaphor to help me explain what I’m talking about. But as we begin navigating our time together we’ve got to be able to talk about whatever we’re feeling.One thing I will tell a first date, “You can ask me anything. And while we are no longer a relationship we went through the whole process, getting to know each other breaking up, without any drama. And I usually share this concept on the first date. Maybe this explains a lack of second dates.) Here it is. The beauty of that is feelings include the ability to fully love.
So when the opportunity arises I look forward to being 100% present with my feelings.